Today is my 35th birthday and I thought I'd share just a few of my personal thoughts on being this age.

• Things are not perfect for me right now. I am still unemployed and am not sure the direction my career is headed, however, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my life.
• I am relatively healthy, except for a few annoyances here and there. There are many people in worse physical condition than I am, many of which are younger than me. I appreciate the fact that my body allows me to do mostly what I want to do without too much fight.
  
• I have a crazy daughter who is almost three years-old, but I love her to death and wouldn't change being her mommy for anything in the world.
• I don't like the width of my nose, nor do I like that my eyes are so uneven. Yet, with that, I love myself enough to know that I am much more than an imperfect face. I am a heart, a mind, and a consciousness and that is worth more than what I see in the mirror.
• I have grown more in the past three years than I have at any other point in my life. I am still working on being less judgmental and more compassionate to others, but I am a work in progress and really love the changes I've made so far.
• My relationship with my husband has gotten so much better since Olivia was born. We fight a lot less, don't take things so personally, and laugh a lot more. We are learning to be parents together and that bring has brought us closer.
• I feel as if life is just beginning. When I was young, I thought being in my thirties would mean I'd be old. However, I feel full of life. My 30's have brought great challenges, yet the rewards have been ten-fold. There is nothing better than feeling comfortable in your own skin, happy with who you are, and looking forward to the years ahead.

My name is Irene and I am 35 years-old!

I know I am all late with this, but its been a helluva week/weekend.

Last week I was stressed about my bday party. It seems no one who said they were coming was actually going to show up, so I was a bit saddened by that. However, I said "fuck em" and decided that I am going to enjoy my day even if I have to spend it with just the hubby. Of course Raquel is down for any type of party so I know that she will be wherever I am, celebrating my special day. Everyone else can bite me! :D

In health news...

• I got a notice from my OB/GYN that she needs to see me regarding my second pap smear. *duh duh duh duhhhhh* Two abnormal ones in a row is not good.
• On top of that, I discovered an odd lump on the bottom of my right chin.*wondering will I end up like Roger Ebert*
• Was finally diagnosed with Trochanteric Bursitis (in other words - hip bursitis). I will need cortisone shots and physical therapy in order to be able to run again. *watches as my triathlon season flies out the window*

Yeah, so its wasn't a great week.

Weigh-In
On Friday Mr. Tanita and I had a falling out. He kept insisting that I weighed 194.2 which means that I gained 1 pound. Well, I know he's right, but he didn't have to keep throwing it in my face.

My next weigh-in is going to be skewed because I have a pound of hair on my head now. Oh, you didn't know...I got my hair done. I finally got it braided. Wanna see? Awww...okay.


So that was my week. Only 2 weeks left of school so I am hoping to goes quickly. I am taking the next session off to find a job. This girl needs some mon-ay!

That's all I've got for now. Off to do some play-robics in the suddenly Spring-like air.

Question: How did your last week go?

-Irene aka FitHungryGurl

Oh, btw - I want to give a major HOORAY to MizFit , Workout Mommy (and others) for completing the Disney Princess half-marathon yesterday! You ladies give me the motivation to do more. Congrats!

I think I just had an epiphany.

My hip was hurting (yes, still) and so was my wrist (Olivia sat on in Friday afternoon) so yesterday I was a hot mess. However, I still took my walk. As the rain began to lightly fall, one of my recent favorite songs came on my MP3 player "If Today Was Your Last Day". It got me thinking about my health and how I have fallen off the wagon so badly that I was not sure if I could even catch it anymore. But even with that, before I got home I bought some milk and Entemanns Chocolate Cake. It was so good.

Last night, after everyone had gone to bed, I took a shower. I felt disgusting. Why did I even buy that cake knowing I had no self control and was going to eat it all? I went to bed frustrated with myself.

This morning I got up in a huff. I was thinking about that cake all night long.

So I got up, put a slice on a plate, place it in the microwave for 30 seconds, poured myself a glass (or two) of milk, then sat on the couch to eat my "breakfast". As I am eating it, I am feeling more and more sick to my stomach. Then, the inevitable happened...the cake fell. In slow motion, I watch as the cake tumbles off my plate. yell out "NOOOOOOOOOO", reaching out to grab it - just missing it by millimeters -  the layers of chocolate frosting and cake hitting both of my legs and then hitting the carpet with a thud.

As I sat on the floor pulling up pieces of now dirt and hair covered chocolate cake and putting them into my drooling mouth, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the TV looking like a ravaging animal and realized something; THIS IS WHY I AM FAT AND UNHEALTHY. What the hell am I doing? I picking up cake that is covered in rabbit hair, dog hair, random dirt specs and probably mouse droppings and shoveling it into my mouth as if I hadn't eating in weeks. I'd lost control.

I have to stop.

And I don't just mean the chocolate cake. I have to stop making excuses for not exercising (my hip hurts - wahhhhhhhh); for not eating right (I don't have anything good in the house - wahhhhhhhh); for sitting on the couch watching TV all day (it's too cold and snowy to go outside - wahhhhhhhh). What happened to the Irene of last summer. The Irene who powered through everything, who fought for every victory? The Irene who did not allow for excuses to stop her from reaching her goals? Where did she go? I want her back!

That's all for now. I'm off to find Irene the go-getter. I need to get rid of Irene the slouch cause I don't like her very much.

I have to tell you, I am so sick of this snow. It's snowed more this winter than it has the previous three winters, combined. I just spent an hour shoveling pounds of the white stuff and while I don't mind the unexpected cardio, I just wish it would stop. Thing is, I spent all that time removing snow, but it's still falling and is expected to until this evening. *sigh*

Anyways...

Body
Two medical things taken care of this week. First I had my IUD removed on Tuesday. Everyone at the medical office thought I did so in order to have another baby. Sorry to disappoint them, but I had it removed because the ultrasound found that I have some really menacing fibroids. You cannot use an IUD as birth control when you have fibroids because, as I have experienced, they cause it to move. So, I feel good knowing that the IUD is no longer in there. It caused me a lot of non-menstrual cramping and Aunt Flow would visit longer than she used to. Now, lets see if my cramping will go away.

The second issue is my hip. I had an MRI yesterday and actually, that was fun. I lied there on the table being scanned while listening to Kenny G and nearly asleep. I was so relaxed. A pretty good excuse for a mid-afternoon nap. I won't get the results until next week, but I am hoping the MRI will show what is bothering my hip. *Crosses Fingers*

Weigh-In
Mr. Tanita and I are good friends again. I got on the scale this morning and Mr. Tanita said I weigh 193.2. That means I lost 1.4 pounds this week, even with Aunt Flow's visit beginning today. Woohoo! That makes me happy. I am so close to getting back into the 180's. I'm planning on going to the gym next week so hopefully that will give me a boost.

School
My classes are kicking my butt. Taking two graduate classes is a struggle, but I can't get financial aid unless I go at least half-time, so struggle I do. I think I will stay out of school during the summer though. I'd like to spend my free time with the family.

In other news...
I am having a bowling birthday party on March 13th. My birthday is actually on the 11th. I will be celebrating the big 35. I was really hoping to have my first race of the year under my belt by then, but alas, that won't happen and that's ok.

So, that's all I've got for now.

-Irene aka FitHungryGurl

Question: How are you all coping with this prolonged winter season?

*SIGH*

Exercise
Another week has driven by and I feel like it passed me by. I concentrated mostly on my schoolwork. Since my body ached so much, I didn't really exercise. I did my evening walk 3 of the last 4 days, but yesterday I could only do 10 minutes on the elliptical machine. The less I workout, the weaker I feel. I'm gonna have to actually start going to the gym again. I need the classes to boost my cardio since I still can't run. Its so upsetting.

I'm supposed to be getting an MRI today, however, there is a slight issue with my insurance. Not a big deal, but I'm have to reschedule my appoint for Monday. What kills me is that I have a $150 deductible for the MRI. HUH? WHAT? $150? Jeez!

Weight
Mr. Tanita and I are at an impasse. This morning he said I weigh 194.6 pounds. That means I had a gain of 0.4 pounds. It's not a lot but since I ate relatively little this week (no meat for 6 days) I thought I would have lost a pound or so. Oh well. It's nothing major so I cannot be all that disappointed.

I'm tired. I have nothing witty to add. Nothing funny to say. There are a lot of things I need to do and no energy to do them. I'm just gonna go and eat and hopefully I'll find my mojo somewhere.

Hope you all have a great week.

Since I haven't been working, I haven't been consistent in taking care of my hair the way I used to. Sure, I still get it done, but not as much as I should, because getting a relaxer every 4 weeks at $45 a pop and a wash and set at $25 every other week is expensive.

My hair these days is a hot mess. Th problem is the crown (the middle of the head). The hair has all broken off and is about 2 inches long, compared to the rest of my hair. So, I've thinking really hard about what I should do to make my hair healthy. I start swimming in the pool next week and chemically treating my hair is not going to be a good idea for extended tri training.


I know one thing...I am cutting my hair. Its going to probably be 2 inches long all over - this is so I can cut all the damaged and chemically treated hair off. I am swearing off relaxers from this moment on. Chemicals aren't good for the body or the environment and the expense is ridiculous.

I will most likely be putting braids in my hair, so I can have some length (I hate short hair on my big-ass head). Below are two of my favorite styles.


I like them the most because they aren't braided all the way down to the ends. So tell me, what do you think?

If you've missed the previous installments of "Bitches get stiches", please read here. When we last left "Bitches Get Stitches", "L" had pissed me off so much that I had pretty much disowned her. I made a decision to not be around her anymore. The mere mention of her name raised my blood pressure. From what I heard, BIL yelled at "L". Good!

It's been two weeks since the "You're an Ass" incident and not not a peep except a call from BIL saying they were celebrating their son's birthday on the 20th at 7pm. Eh ok.

Sunday was Valentine's Day. Gary took Olivia to church and I stayed home, as usual. I heard a noise downstairs, assuming they were home, but when I heard BIL and "L"s' voice, I knew who it was.

When I heard it was them, I locked the door up here. I didn't want them upstairs. Gary came home from church and brought Olivia upstairs. We decided to pack her back and get out the house for awhile so we didn't have to sit in the house with "L" downstairs. We  were gonna take Olivia sledding.

Well, in the middle of re-dressing Olivia, there was a knock on the door. It was THEM. WTF did they want? Apparently the kids wanted to give Olivia gifts for V-day. This heiffer had the nerve to bring herself up to our apartment acting as if shit didnt' happen. Really? Is that how shit works these days? Well, she definitely got the cold shoulder from me. I didn't look at her once. As a matter of fact, while she was talking, I walked out the room, went into my bedroom ,and closed the door. No mas bitch! If the kids hadn't been there, I would have told them to get out. But alas, I can't punish the kiddies because their mother is a twat.

They went back downstairs and we went to the park.

When we got home I was talking to Raquel about the whole thing when Gary sad to me that MIL told him that "L" had said she wanted to apologize to me. MIL said to her "why didn't you? You were upstairs weren't you?" Ha! Someone has sense.

I am so sick of this woman, so much so that if she even apologized, I might still spit in her face. While talking to Raquel and my grandmother - they both said the same thing. They think she may just have an issue with the fact that I am not white, therefore she thinks she can treat me poorly. Up to this point, I've allowed it to allow peace to exist in the family. But no more. I can't. What upsets me most is that in trying to keep the peace, I've allowed myself to be disrespected by this person on a regular basis. There is a limit to what I can take and I have reached it.

Good morning all! I hope you had a good weekend.

Something happened 2 weeks ago that I am finally ready to tell you all about. It's a long story, so sit back and relax.

In January I discussed a problem with a family member I called "L". If you don't remember, the post is here. Go ahead, read it...we'll wait.

All caught up? Ok, let's move on.

On Sunday, January 31, my extended family was invited to a baby shower for a cousin out in Massapequa, Long Island. I was planning on driving my MIL, and SIL there. About a week before, "L" (my other SIL) chatted me on Facebook and asked if I could take her. I didn't want to for 2 reasons. One - because of the issues stated in my previous post. Two - because her house was out of my way and would add 20 minutes to my commute. However, because in 2010 I am trying to be a better person, I agreed to do it.

BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE!

The morning of the shower, I go to wrap cousin's present (a little late in the game, I know) and discover that it is broken. Crap! Now not only do I need to drive out of my way to pic up "L", I need to find a Buy Buy Baby to change the present before going to the shower. Ugh! But that's my fault because we had the present for a month and I shouldn't have waited to wrap it.

In any case, we take my car. Now you all know I have a 2 year-old and she still uses a car seat which is places in middle of my back seat. That's important to note for future reference.

We arrive at "L"'s house and are ready to go. I honk the horn and she comes out. I pop open the trunk so she can put her bag in, then she gets in the car. I wait...

ME: Seat belt please.
"L": Just go. I can't fit
ME: Well, SIL fit enough to put her seat belt on.
"L": It's too tight, just go. I'm in the back.
ME: Sorry, but the car doesn't move until everyone is belted.
"L": You know, you're an ass. If you weren't too lazy to take the car seat out I would fit. It's not that hard, I have two kids.

Yes...you read that right. She called me an "ass" in my own car because she didn't want to put her seat belt on. And please note, I was doing her a favor. I'd like you all to absorb that for a moment.

My first instinct - pull her out of the car, punch her in the face, and leave her on the sidewalk bleeding. However, these days I am thinking of how my actions affect what happens next. So what did I do? I drove.

The car was quiet. I could tell that my MIL and SIL were shocked. But none of us said anything. As I drove, I got angrier and angrier - in part because of what she said to me, and also because I didn't throw her out of the car. It was not good.

The farther I got away from her house, the more I could feel my blood boiling. I really wanted to ram the car into a poll on her side...but that wouldn't have helped the situation.

Instead, I called Gary (he was at home), told him to get Olivia dressed and that I was coming back. I wasn't going to make it to the shower in the same space as that women. It wasn't gonna happen. So I drove home and as soon as I walked in the house Gary asked me what happened and I broke down. I threw my phone across the room and started to cry. I was so intensely angry, it was my only recourse. The emotion flowed threw my eyes.

I told Gary what happened and he was appalled. The thing was, we had a shower to go to. So I calmed down enough to suggest he drive my car to the shower, while I take Olivia and return the gift to Buy Buy Baby and would meet him at the shower afterward. This worked perfectly.

At the shower, "L" sat at a different table than I did and I didn't even look at her. Gary hung out at the mall nearby with Olivia in case there were more issues. When it was time to go "L" made like she was coming home with me. Nah-uh bitch! No mas! I called Gary and he drove her home with my MIL and SIL in his car. I drove my car home with Olivia. A nice, peaceful drive.

When I got home, Gary said "L" apologized several times for causing a problem on the ride home. Eh, she didn't apologize to me.

And that is where it ended.

But wait, there's more. Check out my next post for the rest of the story.

Good morning and Happy Friday all!

I am pleased to report I actually lost weight this week. Mr. Tanita and I have kept our relationship on the good side this week. Today, he tells me I weigh 194.2 pounds. That means that in the last 7 days I have lost 1.4 pounds. Woohoo! I'll take it.

In other news...
I finally went to the orthopedic surgeon yesterday in an effort to find out what is wrong with my hip. Well, we found out that...well, we don't know yet. There wasn't anything clear on the x-ray so he's sending me for an MRI. However, I have to wait for approval from my insurance, so I need to wait about a week before I can make the appointment. That means at least another couple of weeks before I will know what is wrong.

This is very depressing.

I've already missed a week of running training for this 5K and triathlon season.

Ok, I am not going to allow myself to be sad. I am simply going to switch over to swim training. Swimming should put less stress on my hip and still allow for some cardio.

It's snowed twice here in the last week and we are expecting more snow on Monday. I cannot explain to you how tired I am of winter. This cold, coupled with my inability to run (or even walk), is making the winter blues so much harder to overcome. I want to be outside, enjoying the warmth of the sun. But its been too cold to spend more than a few minutes outside and the snow makes it impossible to push Olivia's stroller up and down the street. *sigh* Spring can't come soon enough.

Challenge-
I am giving myself an new challenge this week. I am going to eat vegetarian beginning tomorrow. No meat at all for 6 full days. I want to give myself a fiber and antioxident boost. Who's gonna join me?

That's my week in a nutshell.

Question: What are you going to do to give yourself a boost this week?

-Irene aka FitHungryGurl